Pinch Boxing

"Whatcha doing?" I asked her as she stood in a questionable position in the jogger's park, early morning.

How early? Even the slum dwellers had not come out on the streets for their morning potty.

'I am practising a new form of defence,' she replied peacefully.

'Defense, that is interesting. Some trouble?' I quizzed.

'I met my old friends today over lunch then we went shopping, and in the evening we took coffee at CCD,' she started.

'So we were discussing relationships, she was telling how she has screwed her life and how practical she has become after her first breakup I haven't told anyone about my boyfriend, but it made me think of how foolish and stupid I am...'

About time, don't you think?

'..and how I am not doing anything about it, also they told me that I have lost a lot of weight, which is sad because people keep asking if I am sick or something...'

Uh oh, is there an emergency exit around? The monster is out of control.

'...my hair and skin is a mess... '

She took a deep breath, '...and on top of that, the evil exam planners are showing results next week.'

'Oh dear, that's quite a lot of drama for a Rakhi Sawant too...' I exclaimed.

'...and I couldn't sleep for days, plus I feel depressed at home, I might as well end my life if it wasn't for my parents.' she concluded.

'You know your life is not exactly in a mess. You do know what you have to do.'

'I have thought a lot, and I know what the right thing to do is but the problem is, do I have the guts to do that? Do I have the courage to confront my boyfriend straight in his face? Can I think of losing him? After so many years.

  

I am hopeless and will be'

'Good, do you know, how many years it takes for an average human being to accept that he is hopeless?' I started, it was my turn to start, 'There are people at age 80, who find it hard to accept. You at age 21 have accepted it, I think its a good start.'

'Instead of worrying so much about your life, live it and let the universe take care of your problems.' I suggested the Universe works for me.

'Yeah, I am avoiding him for two weeks, and I am keeping self-control over me, so I don't think he will be such a problem. And my dad has been asking me to join him in yoga for many days for my health problem.'

'In just 15 secs of accepting you are hopeless, you have solved two major problems in your life.' I exclaimed.

'Naah, it is just that my leg hurts and I crib a lot na.' she smiled.

'Obviously you too...' I replied.

'How many other crybabies you know?' she.

'Well, only 400 million other people, at the last count.' me.

'Haha, glad I am normal.' she.

'Aren't we all?' I quipped.

'I thought I was in the sadist period,' she beamed.

'Planet Earth is in sadist period since the ice age,' I replied.

'So this new form of defence... what is it?' I asked, not sure what she was doing so far.

'It is called pinch boxing,' she replied, 'An ancient elite form of martial arts practised by woman all over the world since the Egyptians.'

'You mean punch boxing?' I confirmed.

'No I mean, pinch boxing... now go, or I will give you a demo...' she threatened.

'Hold on, you said its a new art form, but now you saying its old?' I asked, 'What are you doing....'

Ow. Ow. Ow.