10 Insane Things about London That will confuse you

When I first stepped into London, I was a bit anxious. After being misinformed about almost everything about London and then Googling for ending hours here I was on in the heart of British Empire. Here are few things that are absurdly confusing (OK not absurd, maybe a cultural shock or maybe just absurd) in London.

1. They greet you with 'You Ok', 'Everything alright'.
The people in London don't greet you 'Hello' or 'Hi', they say, 'You ok', or 'Everything alright'. Now that is fine in normal London sense of way but the moment someone asks me that, I am like, 'Stop face reading.' 'No everything is not alright, starting with this form of greeting.'

2. Chips are Fries and Crisps are Chips

New Mucchad mascot for the blog.

No that's true, you ask for Chips and they give you fries. Even in Mc. Donald's were universal code (OK maybe not universal) for Burger is, 'You want to make it a meal with fries' but no in London they are chips. Want any chips?


3. The overtly attachment for fish and chips
Someone in the past invented fish and chips. The entire population liked it so much that they didn't bother inventing another seafood dish. Only seafood option available in most restaurants is fish and chips with an exception to fish pie which most of the bars seems to stock a lot.

4. Washing Machines in the kitchen
I still have to figure out the reason for strategic placement of washing machine next to my oven. A slight miss in the angle and I might end up washing my pie and burning my shirt.

5. Sandwich being the main item in a lunch menu
You tell me whatever you want, I will never understand how can a sandwich and a packet of chips (or crisps) be served at a lunch menu. Most of the time these sandwiches are not cooked, they are stuffed with cold meat, veggies and served in a nice packet. A geniune request to heat it up is respond with an even colder stare. That stare can only match with the weather in London.

6. Drinking hot tea to cool off on a hot summer day
That sentence is legit according to Londoners. What is the obsession with tea one can never understand until 5:00 when it seems the entire nation declares as the official high tea hour.

7. The too much politeness
The first time someone held a door open, I felt good. Thank you, I beamed. The second time, I wasn't thrilled but I still beamed. Repeat that forty times a day and you finally give up. Londoners are too polite. They even say 'Sorry' if you accidently bump into them. I believe if a robber decides to rob me he will come up and say, "Sorry chap, can you please give me all your money?" Talking about money they don't have anything above 20 pounds in print.

Solar charger that doesn't work as nicely as you expected.

8. The lack of Sun
Sometime in the past, the Londoners decided they didn't need the sun anymore and he obliged. The lack of Sun only mocks at you if you proudly bring a solar mobile charger with you on your journey. British summer season comprises of a week of nice hot sun followed by two weeks of spontaneous downpour.

9. Spontaneously standing in the queue for Banks, Supermarket, Parks and any random place that requires three or more person.
In India people fall in line when they are subjected to metal restrains, watched over by security guards who carry wood sticks and after a fight, confusion about the correct line. As a dedicated Indian who has come through this confusion I find it exceedingly appalling that in London, people spontaneously form lines at random places. Its like you are standing for a bus and wallah, people are standing behind you. You have that Kaalia - Amitabh Bacchan moment here.

10. License to watch television
The most interesting British citizen James Bond proudly boasts he has License to Kill. That is not some clever catch phrase, you need to have license for everything, including watching television. The house owner has given a television but you cannot watch it until you buy a license for it. "My name is Bond, James Bond and I have License to Kill," "Yeah Sorry mate, until you pay the license to watch television I am not going to allow you too."